Success Is A Choice Ch 12

Cultivating Good Relationships

• Influence of Relationships: Relationships significantly impact one's talent and life trajectory. Positive relationships foster growth, while negative ones hinder it. Success and failure are often linked to key relationships.

Impact of Relationships

• Minimizing Impact: Many underestimate the substantial influence others have on their lives.
• Parental Example: The author's parents prioritized choosing positive influences for their children. They created an environment that attracted good friends, observing and guiding the children's interactions.
• Early Observation: Parents recognized the importance of choosing good company. The author's parents proactively ensured positive influences, though the children were unaware at the time.
• Later Insights: Years later, in counseling, the author observed the correlation between positive and negative relationships, and their impact on happiness/sorrow.

Impact of Some Relationships

• Positive vs. Negative: Relationships can uplift or depress. They add or subtract energy. Relationships require energy exchange but varying levels.
• Signs of Negative Relationship Indicators: The article presents a checklist of questions that help discern if a relationship is draining energy (e.g. anxiety, resentment, frustration). A score of ten or more positive answers indicates a high-maintenance relationship.
• Negative Relationships' Effects: A detrimental relationship dilutes talent by consuming energy/focus, distracting from purpose & hindering optimal performance.

Some Relationships Add to Us

• Positive Relationships: Good relationships energize, inspire, validate, and bring joy. These relationships help people grow, are highly valued, and are important to consider as friends.
• List of Positive Relationship Influences: The author lists examples of relationships that add value: Family, creative people, successful individuals, encouraging individuals, fun-loving companions, insightful thinkers, teammates, & those who are committed to learning.

Some Relationships Are Pivotal

• Pivotal Relationships: Particular relationships have a profound impact on an individual's life trajectory, altering their course. These are considered gifts as they provide an unexpected level of support.
• Example of Pivotal Relationship: The author uses his friendship with Tom Phillippe as an example, highlighting the significant influence the relationship has had, particularly through encouragement and support.

Five Signs of A Good Relationship

• Mutual Enjoyment: Genuine friendship involves time together simply for enjoyment. The activities are secondary to shared experiences and company. Examples include running errands together and spending time with loved ones.
• Respect: Respecting one another regardless of difficulties. The relationship's strength is proven when faced with obstacles (e.g., pressure, challenges). Respect is often built through challenges. Biblical proverbs highlight the strength of relationships (scarcity of friends, steadfast friendship, truth-telling, guidance, encouragement, sensitivity).
• Shared Experiences: Experiences, regardless of their outcome, foster connections. These experiences can be positive or negative. They create shared memories and build valuable bonds. Examples include family vacations or collaborative projects.
• Trust: Trust as the foundational principle in a relationship. Having trust is paramount.
• Reciprocity: All relationships have ebbs and flows. A balanced exchange of giving and receiving. Relationships can be one-sided, and will lead to instability & unhealthiness. Both parties need to be actively involved to maintain a positive relationship.

Relationship Review

• Identifying Important Relationships: Assess your closest relationships to identify crucial influences on your life.
• Assessing Influence: Evaluate the kind of influence your relationships have on you (positive or negative) and ascertain support, motivation, and inspiration. Questions to consider include: what important others think of you, of your future, how their conduct supports your growth, and what they reveal about your strengths.
• Changing Relationships: Taking action to change your environment if necessary; finding new friends when current relationships are detrimental.
• Importance of Relationships: Relationships are lasting and should be valued. Spending time with people who consistently support you can greatly affect your success.

Explore the importance of nurturing positive relationships in life. This quiz delves into how both negative and positive influences shape individual trajectories and emotional well-being. It highlights parental roles in guiding connections and the long-term effects of our social circles.