Communicating Emotions Flashcards

Questions and Answers

What are 'I' statements?

An 'I' message or 'I' statement is a style of communication that focuses on the feelings or beliefs of the speaker rather than thoughts and characteristics that the speaker attributes to the listener.

Who is the creator of the 'I' statement technique?

Thomas Gordon

What is the role of 'I' statements in communication?

They help a person become aware of problematic behavior and take responsibility for their own feelings.

How can people misuse 'I' statements?

They might still sound accusatory, such as saying 'I hate it when you do not listen to me.' Signup and view all the answers

Where do we see the application of 'I' statements?

In marital issues, attachment issues, couples therapy, family counseling, and among educators modeling prosocial behaviors. Signup and view all the answers

How are 'I' statements used with young children in family dynamics?

They focus on the effects of a child's or parent's actions rather than the action itself. Signup and view all the answers

Many people naturally communicate with 'I' statements.

False Signup and view all the answers

Give an example of an 'I' statement when a father wants his young child to stop calling him rude names during playtime.

'I feel very sad when I hear rude words because they hurt my feelings. I like playing with people who use nice words.' Signup and view all the answers

Give an example of an 'I' statement when a woman becomes angry about her sister borrowing her coat.

'I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can't afford to replace it. I really appreciate it when the things I loan out are taken care of.' Signup and view all the answers

Give an example of an 'I' statement for a teenage boy annoyed with his parents asking about homework.

'I feel frustrated and annoyed when I am reminded over and over to do my homework. I am old enough now to complete my homework without reminders.' Signup and view all the answers

What your 'I' statements are not?

'I' statements are not about being polite or blaming others; they are about clarity in communication. Signup and view all the answers

Study Notes

Understanding "I" Statements

"I" statements emphasize the speaker’s feelings rather than placing blame on the listener.
Example: "I feel abandoned and worried when you come home late" instead of asking "Why are you never home on time?"

Origin and Development

Concept of "I" statements created by Thomas Gordon in the 1960s.
Contrasts with "you" statements, which can cause defensiveness in listeners.

Function in Communication

Promote self-awareness and ownership of feelings by the speaker.
Help improve communication in relationships, fostering emotional closeness and understanding.

Misapplication in Context

Early counseling couples may misuse "I" statements; e.g., "I hate it when you do not listen" still conveys blame.
Effective rephrasing, like "When you do not listen, I feel ignored," is essential for positive communication.

Professional Applications

Used by therapists in marital and family counseling, effective for addressing attachment and communication issues.
Early Childhood Educators (ECEs) model prosocial behavior through "I" statements.

Family Dynamics with Children

Focus on emotional impact rather than accusatory language enhances communication.
Non-blaming language is more effective, especially with young adults and adolescents.

Learning to Use "I" Statements

Many people struggle to use "I" statements naturally; practice can improve proficiency.
All individuals, including children, can learn to articulate emotions effectively through "I" messages.

Real-world Examples

Scenario: A father’s response to a child's rude names utilizes "I" statements to express sadness rather than anger.
Scenario: A woman upset about a damaged coat frames her feelings based on appreciation for care rather than blame.
Scenario: A teenage boy addresses frustration with repetitive homework reminders by expressing feelings constructively.

Clarifying Misconceptions

"I" statements are not merely about politeness or softness; they communicate clarity and open conversation.
They serve as a starting point for improving relationships rather than instantly resolving issues.

Description

Explore the concept of 'I' statements in communication through these flashcards. Learn how focusing on personal feelings enhances interpersonal interactions and promotes understanding. This quiz will help you master the art of expressing emotions effectively.