Character Analysis

• The narrator attends her father's funeral and feels numb despite acknowledging she is happy he is dead.
• Karen offers condolences, which seem insincere due to her father being the narrator's social worker and knowing too much about her life.
• Elizabeth, aka Bug, is the narrator's childhood best friend; she makes a "de ja vu" comment about the situation.
• The narrator deflects Bug's concern by asking about Joey, Bug's love interest.
• Bug's parents are divorced, and she is generally happy but can be impolite and dominate conversations.
• The narrator zones out during Bug's stories and is annoyed when Bug makes a Simpsons reference at the funeral.
• The narrator is rude to Bug and then feels guilty about it.
• Bug recounts a story about Karen's dad having a breakdown at work and now working as Bug's father's assistant.
• The narrator accidentally puts her finger in Bug's mouth and claims to be euphoric to deflect.
• The narrator reflects on lying being part of human nature, a trait she may have inherited from her father.
• She was named Lyla Bell after an Oasis song.
• The narrator’s father was in and out of the picture, ultimately failing as a parent and becoming a "lifeless drunk body."
• The narrator injures her hand but lies to her mother about it, saying she slipped and fell.
• The narrator's parents divorced after 8 years of fighting, and her mother moved to the city, leaving her father behind.
• The narrator became her father's keeper.
• Social workers are assigned to families, but the narrator feels that they are intrusive and that her life is logged into a computer for anyone to access.
• The narrator remembers a social worker who encouraged her to do anything she wanted. She found it ironic because living on the rez restricted her in many ways.
• The narrator describes feeling average compared to white kids after moving to the city.
• Weekends spent at her dad's on the rez involved having to save him when he was drunk.
• The narrator hated her father and wished he would just disappear from her life, not die.
• She recognizes her father's addictions were strong and that she was never enough for him to stay present.
• The social workers reassured her that his addiction was not her fault, but she still felt shame.
• The narrator describes the shame she felt when the Peace Keepers dropped her dad off after a night in the drunk tank, she says distraction helps with shame.
• The news focused on the negative aspects of her father's life and being Indigenous.
• The narrator wonders if she were to die, would the news depict her as another statistic while painting her in a negative light.
• The narrator reveals her father had potential, including signing a contract with the Winnipeg Jets, but he ruined his life through addiction and irresponsibility.
• The narrator says her father was consumed by his mistakes and blamed others for his problems.
• Life improved after moving to the city until the yelling, screaming, sobbing, and hitting revealed itself every other weekend.
• The narrator’s mother may have enjoyed having weekends to herself while the narrator stayed on the rez.
• She enjoyed visiting her friends, especially Bug, and her kokum.
• The narrator reflects on people leaving, a theme she's grown accustomed to.
• The narrator has already lived 10 lives and become more mature than white kids.
• She acknowledges the education system only cares about academic success and that she sees herself as one of the losers.
• The narrator expresses that she lost interest in pursuing knowledge because she found out a few years later that this was depression.
• The narrator remembers her first suicide attempt in her kitchen.
• She drank two glasses of water attempting to help
• The narrator then took pills and vodka, waking up in the hospital with a tube down her throat.

Suicide Attempt Aftermath

• The narrator wakes up to find her father by her bedside, sober.
• She pities him, despite being the one who attempted suicide.

Narration (Introduction to Sean)

• A man, Sean, is at his desk, overwhelmed by his work.
• He goes to his boss, a "tall and butch woman," with concerns about a case.
• His boss dismisses his concerns, telling him things don't always work out and that he needs to focus on his other work.
• Sean is confused by her lack of support.
• Sean texts someone about Lauren's story being pulled, asking them to meet him ASAP.

Pride

• Lyla speaks to her guidance counselor Ms. Kinder. Ms. Kinder is in her mid-20s to early 30s.
• Ms. Kinder asks about Lyla's university applications.
• Lyla claims she's not made for university, lying that she always thought of it as an escape. She knows it is a new start to her life, a new me.
• She is now needed to take care of her only family, her mom, and keep her going.
• Ms. Kinder encourages Lyla, highlighting her talent and grades.
• There is Concordia University on the list.
• Ms. Kinder shows Lyla a list of universities.
• Ms. Kinder saw her pause when looking at the list.
• Lyla questions how she can get in with her grades.
• She calls the grades "college material" from extra-curricular activities.
• Lyla is surprised and recalls Ms. Kinder speaking to her about taking school more seriously as well as after basketball practice about how important school is.
• She does not attend class and just sleeps, She spent a lot of nights worrying about her dad at night.
• Lyla says that her prayers have been answered about her dad, what do I do when I feel like I caused my own dad’s death.
• Ms. Kinder questions what happened to Lyla's hand.
• Lyal claims she got into a fight.
• Ms. Kinder asks if there were any serious injuries, and obviously the answer is evident with shame.
• Ms. Kinder hands Lyla a piece of paper about Lyla's accomplishments and growth after she transferred 3 years ago.
• Ms. Kinder believes in her with great jester and is a tiny Indian gal.
• Ms. Kinder wants her to get out of the small city.
• I want you to promise me that you won't fight anyone again, no matter the reason, your future is too important for this world to miss out on over a stupid fight.
• Lyla claims she wants to be literally done fighting."
• Lyla has thoughts of suicide and not wanting to die but leave no mark on anyone -Wouldn't that be nice.
• Pills are needed for daily usage and to keep Lyla sane; depression, anxiety and pain, one is for ADD, and the last is for sleep.
• She states her life is go to school, take pills, go home, take pills, and go to bed.
• Bug asks if you applied today and what will your mom think.
• The Ms Kinder and Lyla made a deal, and Ms Kinder did not tell what happen about her hand today Lyla did tell her a bit of the truth, which got her to make a deal that Ms. Kinder would not tell anyone as long as Lyla applies to Concordia and get out of this city.
• Bug stated a deal, she mentions that Lyla and Bug always imagined running off together and always talk about our future together, what we will be when we grow up.
• Lyla’s always thought that she would be a university professor, touring the globe, taking in the knowledge around me as I teach about mine.
• Bug would be out there saving the world and always wanted to be a environmental lawyer, but she got into journalism school at Concordia There are thoughts with us at the same university.
• She mentions that Bug should be proud of Lyla with all the things that she could not get out of bed for.
• Lyla states she says with some shame and look at you, completing high school, applying to university, moving onto bigger and better things Lyla states to bug why did you say that in response. I guess I just find it odd because I just heard that from Ms. Kinder today
• Bug mentions that, it is probably true then, you're moving on to bigger and better things, you should feel so proud of yourself, Lyla! Stop for a moment and take everything in at this moment and know that you did it, things are going to be alright."

Funeral (Part Two)

• Lyla is now wearing a turtle neck dress with long sleeves; the top of the dress hugs on Lyla's upper body and then flows out by the hips. Bug and I went to Saskatoon to look for it.
• Lyla says it was a nice day trip from Regina, we got to have supper at a pub even though we weren't of age, they didn't even ID us.
• Picking up Bug from the rez has been the normal for us, it's not that far from the city -however my mom, hates it when I drive out there alone, but maybe she hates the fact that I use too much gas.
• My mom touches my curl and asks hows her girl. She is holding with her mom and mentions its hard to take in that your father is gone, and it ends that way, I guess I always thought that he would die...
• Lyla snaps on her mother stating fuck you.

After Effects

• Lyla says she is regretting to say it but I already said it.
• Lyla begins to spin trying to catch everything for this stop, Lyla cant barely see mom entering the room, Lyla’s vision starts to black out yet I can still feel the world spinning from under my feet, I can hear a loud ringing noise mixed in with my mothers yelling.
• Lyla can feel the cold porcelain sink on the palms of my hands and the turtle neck filling with cold sweat as it tightens around Lyla’s neck.
• Lyal then ask what do I do and everything comes back to her.
• Bug mentions have you talked to Jason yet, she files her nails.
• She then responds with oh.
• Jason was tall with a little gut that stuck out right at his hips, when he was younger he used to weigh around 300 pounds but lost it after all the coaches from the school exploited his height.
• He said that he was happy to see you.

Plot points for Story

• Mention that the narration breaks that has one timeline on a few days before the father dying
• Reveals that is was Karen or Sean that kills the dad