Get Out Of Your Own Way Ch: 13

Guilt vs. Being Guilty

• Guilt upon conscience can defile and consume it, leading to feelings of regret and sadness.
• Feeling guilty can be a waste of time, eating away at a person and putting them in a no-win situation.

The Distinction between Guilt and Being Guilty

• Al Dorskind, a former top executive at MCA, did not feel guilty about firing employees at Universal Studios, as he believed they were not performing and it was his responsibility to keep the company alive.
• Al's stance highlights the distinction between feeling guilty and being guilty.

Consequences of Guilt

• Deborah, a public relations manager, felt guilty about being promoted over Joe and tried to soothe his feelings, which ultimately led to Joe turning the rest of the staff against her.
• Feeling guilty can lead to self-defeating behaviors, making it difficult to make tough decisions and stand behind them.

Origins of Guilt

• People who feel guilty often have lovely motives, assuming responsibility for the hurt and disappointment of others as if they caused it.
• Guilt can stem from growing up in a household where guilt was a currency, often in religious homes, where one is made to feel responsible for another family member's happiness.

The Downside of Guilt

• Guilt leaves one feeling sad, empty, and living in regret, rather than in joy.
• Guilt can be a choice that gets in the way of one's own high performance, leading to issues such as overcommitting, obsessing about mistakes, and feeling paranoid.

Breaking Free from Guilt

• To break free from guilt, it's essential to draw boundaries between one's responsibility and others'.
• Usable Insight: Don't confuse feeling guilty with being guilty.
• Action Steps: Ask yourself about the other person's responsibility, your expectations, and your own responsibility to clarify expectations and responsibilities.

Guilt vs. Being Guilty

• Guilt upon conscience can defile and consume it, leading to feelings of regret and sadness.
• Feeling guilty can be a waste of time, eating away at a person and putting them in a no-win situation.

The Distinction between Guilt and Being Guilty

• Al Dorskind, a former top executive at MCA, did not feel guilty about firing employees at Universal Studios, as he believed they were not performing and it was his responsibility to keep the company alive.
• Al's stance highlights the distinction between feeling guilty and being guilty.

Consequences of Guilt

• Deborah, a public relations manager, felt guilty about being promoted over Joe and tried to soothe his feelings, which ultimately led to Joe turning the rest of the staff against her.
• Feeling guilty can lead to self-defeating behaviors, making it difficult to make tough decisions and stand behind them.

Origins of Guilt

• People who feel guilty often have lovely motives, assuming responsibility for the hurt and disappointment of others as if they caused it.
• Guilt can stem from growing up in a household where guilt was a currency, often in religious homes, where one is made to feel responsible for another family member's happiness.

The Downside of Guilt

• Guilt leaves one feeling sad, empty, and living in regret, rather than in joy.
• Guilt can be a choice that gets in the way of one's own high performance, leading to issues such as overcommitting, obsessing about mistakes, and feeling paranoid.

Breaking Free from Guilt

• To break free from guilt, it's essential to draw boundaries between one's responsibility and others'.
• Usable Insight: Don't confuse feeling guilty with being guilty.
• Action Steps: Ask yourself about the other person's responsibility, your expectations, and your own responsibility to clarify expectations and responsibilities.