Podcast
Questions and Answers
Your friend asks, 'What do you think I should do?' as she sits down on your ______.
Your friend asks, 'What do you think I should do?' as she sits down on your ______.
bed
If you tell her what to do, you risk your friend feeling ______ if things don't turn out as you hoped.
If you tell her what to do, you risk your friend feeling ______ if things don't turn out as you hoped.
let down
It's human nature to want to offer ______ when someone comes to you with a problem.
It's human nature to want to offer ______ when someone comes to you with a problem.
solutions
We might reassure your friend that 'everything will be ______.'
We might reassure your friend that 'everything will be ______.'
Friends often really only want someone to ______ to them.
Friends often really only want someone to ______ to them.
It's important to work out whether they're actually seeking ______, or simply wanting to talk.
It's important to work out whether they're actually seeking ______, or simply wanting to talk.
There's no harm in asking whether they'd like you to suggest a ______ or two.
There's no harm in asking whether they'd like you to suggest a ______ or two.
If you're unable to think of a way to resolve the situation, just ______ so.
If you're unable to think of a way to resolve the situation, just ______ so.
You can go back to your friend later with a few ______ if you think of something helpful.
You can go back to your friend later with a few ______ if you think of something helpful.
Can you remember a time when you weren't sure what to do, or thought you'd acted in the ______ way?
Can you remember a time when you weren't sure what to do, or thought you'd acted in the ______ way?
Flashcards
The urge to give advice
The urge to give advice
The feeling of wanting to give advice, even if you're not sure if it's needed.
The instinct to fix
The instinct to fix
When someone comes to you with a problem, it's natural to want to offer a solution.
Unwise advice
Unwise advice
Giving advice that you wouldn't take yourself.
Helpless advice
Helpless advice
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Distinguishing between needing advice and wanting to vent
Distinguishing between needing advice and wanting to vent
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Asking before advising
Asking before advising
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Honesty in advising
Honesty in advising
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Empathy in advice
Empathy in advice
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Drawing on personal experience
Drawing on personal experience
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Study Notes
Giving Advice
- Giving advice can be tricky; your friend might feel disappointed if things don't turn out as you hoped, whether you agree or disagree with their actions
- It's natural to want to offer solutions, but sometimes simply listening is more helpful than offering advice
- People often seek advice because they feel a need to be heard or need reassurance, not necessarily for concrete solutions.
- Try actively listening to understand the situation and the friend's emotions, rather than just offering solutions
- If you can't resolve their situation, honesty is key; don't feel pressured to suggest solutions you don't think will work, step away and then revisit the issue later when you have thought things over
- Sometimes, the greatest help may be reminding the friend of the positive aspects of their life, distracting them for a while and offering experiences together to take their minds off things
- Judging your friend's actions is unhelpful; encourage them to think about what they can do
- Allowing your friend to "talk it out" can be beneficial, even if the problem isn't resolved immediately
- Don't expect to have all the answers or be the solution; being a supportive presence, creating fun experiences together and reminding them of other aspects of life will be highly beneficial
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Description
This quiz explores the nuances of giving advice and the importance of active listening in supporting friends. It discusses how simply being present can sometimes be more beneficial than offering solutions. Learn how to navigate these conversations with empathy and honesty.
