Emotional Intelligence PDF

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: The ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively: -Being aware of your own feelings (emotional vocabulary) Emotion Wheel -Dealing with e...

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: The ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively: -Being aware of your own feelings (emotional vocabulary) Emotion Wheel -Dealing with emotions without being overcome by them -Not letting setbacks and disappointments derail you -Channeling your feelings to assist you in achieving your goals -Being able to understand how others feel without their spelling it out -Listening to your feelings and those of others so you can learn from them -Recognizing social norms for expressions of emotions -Having a strong yet realistic sense of optimism VIEWS OF EMOTIONS Physiological influence *organismic view -instinctual responses -reflexes -beyond your control Perceptual influence *Perceptual view -external objects, events, people, and physiological responses have no intrinsic meaning; emotions depend on perception *cognitive labeling view of emotions (labeling physiological responses and context) Social influences *Interactive view -Social rules influence understanding and expression of emotions ~framing rules (emotional meaning of situations) ~feeling rules (how we should feel in certain situations) ---emotion work (surface acting; deep acting) Reasons We Might Not Express Emotions Self-protection (ex. not wanting to be vulnerable) protecting others (ex. not panicking during an emergency to help everyone remain calm) social & professional roles (ex. expecting people like doctors, police officers, customer service workers, and teachers to maintain emotional control) social expectations (ex. expecting adults not to throw tantrums like children; not laughing at someone’s bad news) Emotions and Gendered Expectations Male Deficit Model: Suggests that the male style of building and maintaining relationships is inadequate because men are uncomfortable with talking about feelings. Alternate Paths Model: -acknowledges that men and women do relate differently due to gendered socialization -but does not presume that men lack feelings or that they don’t care about emotional depth ~gendered socialization constrains men’s comfort with verbally expressing feelings ~boys/men often don’t get “practice” at talking about their feelings (in some ways, boys/men are taught to avoid talking about their feelings) -APM argues that men DO express closeness in ways that they value and understand and are valid—they’re just different from the ways women do it Helpful Emotion Tips -Identify what you feel before expressing it to others. -Choosing how to communicate your emotions involves assessing your current state as well as selecting an appropriate time and place to discuss your emotions. -Use I-language (take responsibility for your emotions). -Monitor your self-talk. Our lives are affected by our thoughts, so pay close attention to them, and don’t let your thoughts take over you. -Adopt a Rational-Emotive approach to feelings (detailed in your textbook). -Respond sensitively when others communicate emotions.